Bo experienced a lot with us. He knew about our engagement before I did, he moved into our first house with us, he kept me company when Scott was in Iraq, and then again when I was stuck in bed while pregnant with Addison and Fischer. Bo was also the first to know I was going into labor - looking back, he was so clearly trying to clue me in. Through all of our family changes, he was always one of our babies!
Saying goodbye to Bo was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Everything happened so fast, so I definitely wasn't mentally or emotionally prepared.
So here's the story. For awhile, Bo had a "growth" above one of his hind legs. We actually asked a couple of different vets about it. Both said it was nothing we should worry about at that time because it wasn't bothering him, and was most likely just a fat deposit. This was a couple of years ago, and the growth would shrink, then grow, shrink, grow, etc... but it never seemed to bother him.
Towards the end of April, we noticed that the area was starting to bother him. If we pet him there, he would growl a little bit, and he was having a harder time going up and down stairs. Scott took him to the vet after it was clear that he was in some pain. The vet decided it would probably be best to do surgery to remove it. When he did remove it, it was a different type of growth than he thought (I'm not sure of all the actual names). We opted at the time not to have anything sent off for testing... a decision I think we are both regretting, although the vet assures us it wouldn't have changed the outcome.
So, Bo was supposed to come home that same day of his surgery but ended up staying at the vet for almost 4 extra days because he was bleeding around his incision. When he finally came home, his incision wasn't pretty, but it finally started healing.
Things were great and he was obviously feeling so much better. He had more energy and was moving around much better.
Then, about a month ago, we noticed that the area under the incision was growing again. We knew the growth was coming back. Bo was due to get his nails trimmed anyway (something he had to go to the vet for) so the vet checked him out. He knew right away it was a tumor, and because of the bleeding from his surgery, he was worried it was serious. So, we scheduled a biopsy, and in the mean time, gave Bo some steroids to try and help with the pain/itching.
He went for his biopsy on Thursday, July 19. He came home that day but was bleeding everywhere...not a good sign. :( He went back to the vet for the weekend because we had already planned to go to Charleston and we didn't want him home alone. We were told to expect biopsy results in 5-7 business days. The vet had already said he was 99% sure it was cancer, and that it was too late for treatment. At this point, we were waiting to see how advanced it was.
Scott and I were sort of shocked by how fast all of this happened. We questioned if we should have had a biopsy done during his original surgery in May, but the vet told us it would have already been too late.
So on Tuesday, July 24, we got Bo's results. And, they weren't good at all. He had a very aggressive form of cancer. The vet gave him about 90 days to live. 90 days?! We could not believe it. We were both extremely upset, which is a challenge with 2 3 year olds around... they were confused.
I was so stressed about Bo's quality of life during those 90 days. How would I know when it was "time?" What if I came home and he didn't greet me at the door? I wasn't sure what we were supposed to be doing.
At this point, Bo was still bleeding from his biopsy, and the vet wasn't happy about how long it took him to shake off his anesthesia... so Scott took him back to the vet for the day on that Tuesday so that he could get two more stitches. The vet told us that he was bleeding because that tumor was expanding and the blood didn't have anywhere to go, basically. The area was bright red and getting worse by the day... he said it was because the tumor wanted to rupture.
Bo came home Tuesday afternoon and it went downhill fast. He wouldn't eat, and started getting sick (most likely caused by the cancer already spreading to his liver and spleen). Wednesday was ok but he wasn't himself.... Thursday he got sick many times that day and refused to eat at all. He perked up for a little while when Jim and Dianne came over for dinner, but then Thursday night, he barely slept at all, and ended up going to lay in another room by himself and got sick all over the floor.
So, on Friday, July 27, we knew it was time. We didn't want it to be time, but we knew it was. He was suffering and we didn't want it to get any worse. We thought he had 90 days... I was so mad that it happened so fast. I sat on the floor with him, and he climbed in my lap for a few seconds. The kids were running around, oblivious to what was happening, so I tried my best to keep it together, but I didn't succeed.
Scott left with Bo and I was a wreck. Fischer kept saying "Don't worry Mommy, Bo will be home tomorrow." I wish he was right. Scott brought him home and buried him right by Sassy's little area... all before the kids were able to look out and see what was going on. We didn't want to scare them.
It was one of the longest days ever... and that night was even worse because at night is when we spent most of our quality time with Bo. After Addison and Fischer went to bed was our time to sit and cuddle with Bo, and he slept with us so it just wasn't right. It still isn't right... I've had a very hard time these past couple of weeks, and I'm hoping it will start to get easier soon. I miss him so much, and feel so guilty that there wasn't more we could do. He might just be a dog to some, but to us, he was our baby!
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